Monday, November 23, 2009

How important is respect in a friendship?



 At 20 something years old, I am learning a very valuable lesson about friendship! 

One of the most important "ingredients" in a friendship is respect. Respect, as far as I'm concerned, is a mutual thing.  You have to give respect in order to receive respect; you have to respect yourself in order for others to respect you.

Today I found out that a "friend" made some pretty nasty comments about me, of course, not to my face, but to a mutual "friend."  After listening to some of the things she said, I really have to question the amount of respect I have for her and the amount of respect (obviously none) that she has for me.  She made comments about my promotion and why she thought I received the promotion, about how she thinks he is paying my bills which is why I can afford to drive a "luxury" car, there were tons of other things, but I don't care to rehash.

I considered the person who made these comments a really good friend! We've known each other since we were in middle school & to find out that she said those things about me is flat out brutal.  Our friendship hasn't been the same for a while, I felt like we were growing apart, but now I know our friendship will never be the same.  I know that as we grow up, change careers, relocate, etc we often grow apart from old friends and make new friends, but I was not expecting this...not from her.  I'd like to call her up and ask her why, but it's totally not worth my time huh?

8 comments:

michelle said...

hi. i found your blog through 20sb, and i like the little bit that ive read so far :)

congrats on your promotion and weeding out "friends". losing friends can be hard, but in some situations it's necessary

Jill said...

I'm sorry.
I hate when I hear that people are talking bad about me.
If you wouldn't say it to the person's face, probably don't say it to others, right?

You are better off without people in your life.

P.S.-I found your blog on 20SB! Check out mine - www.lifeaftercollege3.blogspot.com.
I love your layout and blog title and I'm gonna read more of your posts now :D

Niks La Mode. said...

LMAO at the pic with his middle finger lmao! so funny I've enjoyed readn your blog so far lol and I became a ff! and go on with the new job offer..I dont call it selfish you work hard so y not!... found your blog thru 20sbloggers!

mines is http://la-mode-at.blogspot.com! :)

thx in advance lookn fwd to ur next post.

Becca Christensen said...

Wow, I'm sorry to read about this.

One thing I have learned is that some people cannot be happy for others. Those people are hard to be good friends with, because they will always begrudge you your successes and talk bad about you when you're doing well. Don't allow yourself to be brought down by people like this...

Enjoy your success, you've earned. And when the opportunities come to be happy for others, take them. Life's too short to be eaten up with jealousy.

Love,
B

Jill said...

I know, I want to learn all of Thriller too! I know a few key moves, but I've never done the whole dance. The class that I'm teaching it to is a tap class, so we are doing more "tappy" moves but still with a creepy feel :).

Tiffany said...

I found your blog on 20SB... I am now a follower and would love if you would follow me. =}

http://happilyeverafter-tiffany.blogspot.com/

Laura said...

Friends can be interesting indeed... it's sad how time can sometimes change friendships so drastically. I'd say this girl is definitely not a true friend. Don't let her bring you down!

Daisy said...

not to play devil's advocate but I do think you should confront your friend. Gossip can be nasty stuff and it IS possible that she didn't say exactly what you were told she said.

I think part of respect in a friendship is confrontation and benefit of the doubt. If she did say those things - she isn't worth your time. HOWEVER - as a friend - it may be nice of you to at least give her the chance to explain if that's what she REALLY said.